B.E.D.

The letters "B.E.D." define me in many ways.

I have memories of my mom always being in bed when I was younger. I think it was her sanctuary for dealing with her various issues that I could probably sum up via an epic full-length cinematic masterpiece. Perhaps eventually I'll be able to delve deeper into that rabbit hole.

I find comfort in my bed. Although I have a wonderfully comfortable couch in my living room, I immediately hang out in my bed when I get home. This could be for watching TV, hanging out with my dogs, reading, surfing the net, or even blogging (Yes... I am indeed currently blogging in bed). I think this relates to the previous bullet and the connection to my mom. There have been several occasions where I will eat on my bed, as well. No, the food is not on the cover - it is on a plate. I am not a barbarian.

Eating in bed... connects to eating in private... which connects to what I am eventually trying to approach with this post. "B.E.D." has nothing to do with the word "bed", but rather an eating disorder. The eating disorder I am referring to is "Binge Eating Disorder"... something I have self-diagnosed myself with after doing countless hours of research. Some signs of "Binge Eating Disorder" include: (via Wikipedia)

• Periodically does not exercise control over consumption of food.
• Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time, far more than a normal person would eat in the same amount of time.
• Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes.
• Eats until physically uncomfortable and nauseated due to the amount of food just consumed.
• Eats when depressed or bored.
• Eats large amounts of food even when not really hungry.
• Usually eats alone during binge eating episodes, in order to avoid discovery of the disorder.
• Often eats alone during periods of normal eating, owing to feelings of embarrassment about food.
• Feels disgusted, depressed, or guilty after binge eating.
• Rapid weight gain, and/or sudden onset of obesity.

It is somewhat comforting to actually know what is "wrong" with me. If you've ever checked out my "weight loss" page above... (the lack of updates is due to the fact that there are no updates - I'm still fat), you'd know that I've been struggling with my weight. I actually don't remember a moment in my entire life where I was happy with my body. However, that is an entirely different post. Anyway, I am hoping that by going on Nutrisystem again (UGH any day, I swear - as soon as that money is in my wallet!) I'll be able to control my binge eating. It really helped me take control the first time I lost the weight, and it's really unfortunate that I gained it back.

Advice of the day: be sensitive to those who over-eat... they may not be able to control it.